|
Things Adults Learn From Kids:
Legos will pass through the digestive tract
of a four year old.
Duplos will not.
Play Dough and Microwave should never be used
in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want
to know.
Ditto Tarzan.
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jello.
VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
You probably do not want to know what that odor
is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in San Diego has at least
a 5 minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earth worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
A good sense of humor will get you through most
problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).
|
There is no such thing as child-proofing your
house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and
run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound
boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman
cape.
It is strong enough however to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have
to throw the ball up a few times before you get
a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words
"Uh-oh;" it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
A six year old can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36 year old man says they can
only do it in the movies.
A magnifying glass can start a fire even on
an overcast day.
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing
baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
|
